


i'm sorry i'm thinking about cats again

by darlingjustdont



Series: animal direction [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Cat!Direction, Couch Cuddles, Fluff, M/M, Ridiculous, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, and liam takes care of him, harry is a cat, i'm incapable of not writing ot5, the lirry is slight, why do i always write things like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 03:33:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5032129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingjustdont/pseuds/darlingjustdont
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em> “when did we get a cat?” he asks over the sizzle of the pan. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>“i got a cat yesterday.” </em>
  <br/>
  <em>“why?” </em>
  <br/>
  <em>liam shrugs. “cause he kept following me?” </em>
  <br/>
  <em>that sets louis and niall to laughing, and makes liam’s cheeks redden. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>“you can’t bring home everything that follows you!” niall tells him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>or, liam brings home a cat that's named harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm sorry i'm thinking about cats again

**Author's Note:**

> "sasha, how do you want to make your mark on the world of 1d fanfiction?"  
> "oh idk i'm going to turn harry into every conceivable adorable animal in every pairing i can." 
> 
> this is 100% because rish said that liam treats harry like a pet. thank you to the best person in the world adri for reading this and leaving pointless comments. ily
> 
> title taken from [one of the best youtube videos in the world.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP4NMoJcFd4)
> 
> enjoy xx

liam had gone to the pet shop for some dog food and a collar. 

he came back with dog food, a collar, and a kitten small enough to fit in his palm. it was light grey, with pretty green eyes and its tail tipped in white. liam had made the mistake of walking past the cats and this one had followed him, meowing fiercely until he had picked it up. 

“we call him harry,” the pet shop worker had said with a grimace. liam suspected it wasn’t his idea. “we’re not sure how old he is, but he’s not sick or anything.” 

“oh,” liam said, staring down at the cat. he was in a little bit of a staring contest. “brilliant.” 

“you can pick him up.” 

so liam had reached in and scooped up the already-purring kitten, let it curl around in his hand and nuzzle his palm. it sighed, eyes drooping closed. 

“you said his name was harry?” 

 

harry is tiny. loki is not. maybe liam hasn’t thought this through. harry doesn’t make a fuss, though, just straightens his back and sits in between loki’s front legs. the dog looks down at the unassuming kitten, and then up at liam with a confused expression. 

he refuses to be judged by his dog. 

he notices that harry seems to think he’s bigger than he actually is. he looks genuinely confused when he can’t get up onto the sofa and even more so when loki picks him up gently in his mouth. the dog sets him on the cushion and liam laughs at the clear disapproval on the cat’s face. 

“you’re cute,” he tells harry. harry squeaks at him and bats at a fraying string. 

 

when it’s time to go to bed, harry hooks his claws into liam’s shirt and refuses to let go. when he tries to put him on a pillow, he yowls until liam gives up and moves him back up to the bed. harry flicks his tail and curls up in a ball next to liam’s head. he purrs all night. it’s strangely comforting. 

 

he wakes up to four (and an eighth) extra bodies in his bed. niall’s at his feet, sprawled out and keeping them warm. louis is half on, half off the mattress, but his knees are in liam’s back and it bloody hurts. zayn’s taking up half the bed but at least he’s sleeping normally. loki’s on zayn’s other side and harry is perched in the dip between liam’s shoulder and his ear. 

“what’s going on?” he slurs, still mostly asleep. louis hushes him and digs into his kidneys a little more. “what are you all doing here?” 

“are you quite finished, liam? some of us are trying to sleep.” 

“but—“ 

“shhh,” niall says, rubbing his hand over liam’s ankle. “sleepy times.” 

“sleepy times for me,” louis mumble-sings into the pillow and reaches up a hand to pet at harry’s fur. zayn still hasn’t made a sound.

liam stops trying to understand and goes back to sleep. 

 

harry’s the one that wakes him up in the end, hungry and ready to play. he bites on liam’s ear until liam sits up. 

“alright, alright,” he grouches, holding harry in one hand as he tries to pick his way over his friends. harry wriggles and lets out a small meep. it’s adorable until liam remembers that he’s annoyed. “are you hungry then?” 

he’s not got much cat food-- forgot to pick it up with the actual cat-- and decides on milk instead. kittens can drink milk, right? he pours it out into a little bowl and sets in on the ground. 

harry takes one sniff and gives him a look. 

“you’re a bloody cat, you’ve got no right to be posh.” he pushes the bowl towards liam and meows. “i’ve not got anything else!” another meow. “would you like a look in the refrigerator to see?” he swings open the door and lets harry have a look. 

“liam payne, are you letting the cat have the run of the kitchen?” louis asks from behind him. he whips around and finds louis with his hair sticking up everywhere and a teasing smile on his face. 

“he’s not drinking the milk,” liam defends, rather lamely, and louis snorts. 

“he’s a cat.”

“he doesn’t like it,” he says and sets harry back down on the ground. “see?” harry looks up at them and then dips one paw in the bowl, licking daintily at it. “you little…” 

“hush, liam,” louis says, reaching down to scratch at the kitten’s ears. “don’t take your aggressions out on the baby.” 

“it’s not--”

“shh!” 

harry meows smugly and winds around louis’ ankles, begging to be held. louis obliges and liam gets to see them be all smug together. it’s a little much. 

“brat,” he tells harry, and louis for good measure. he flicks both of their foreheads.

“proud of it too, now switch on the kettle.” 

niall’s the next out and he starts on making eggs before liam can even ask, whistling happily as he does. 

“when did we get a cat?” he asks over the sizzle of the pan. 

“i got a cat yesterday.” 

“why?” 

liam shrugs. “cause he kept following me?” 

that sets louis and niall to laughing, and makes liam’s cheeks redden. 

“you can’t bring home everything that follows you!” niall tells him. 

“that’s how you became friends, isn’t it?” louis points out, a little distractedly. he’s trying to get harry to chase a ball he’s tied to a shoelace. liam’s not really sure where he got the ball. it might’ve been in his pocket. “and zayn too, now that i think about it. liam, mate, i think you’ve got a problem with picking up strays.”

liam can’t argue with that. 

 

it’s louis’ idea to drop harry on zayn’s face to wake him up, obviously. the other boys can’t find an excuse valid enough to talk louis out of it, so they just watch from the doorway as louis creeps into liam’s bedroom and gently puts harry down. 

zayn doesn’t move. harry blinks for a second and then settles down on zayn’s cheek, head on his paws. he’s asleep in seconds.

louis watches them for a moment, frozen, and turns to the boys with a dumbstruck expression.

“that was unexpected.” 

liam and niall just laugh harder. 

 

“i think he’s a vegetarian,” liam comments two days later. 

“he’s a cat,” zayn says dismissively. “they’re meant to eat meat.” 

“yeah, but he doesn’t. just the fish.” 

“don’t think that means he’s a vegetarian,” niall says from the armchair. harry’s curled up on his lap because niall is probably his favourite person. or maybe louis. or maybe zayn. liam’s not sure.

“what’s the word for that one, then?” 

“pescetarian,” zayn supplies. 

“yeah, that.” 

“or he’s just picky,” says louis and he tosses a peanut at harry. it hits harry’s ear and the cat twitches once. niall cups his hands around him protectively and glares at louis. 

“don’t be mean to the kitty.”

the next peanut hits niall square in the forehead. he jerks hard enough to wake up harry from his nap. 

the kitten stretches and glances around, carefully jumping to the floor before pawing at liam’s leg. when liam doesn’t pick him up fast enough, he digs his claws in liam’s jeans and tries to climb. 

with a yelp, he unhooks harry and sets him down on his thigh to purr rubbing his head with a finger, liam watches as harry’s eyes flutter close and he tilts his nose up. zayn leans over to stroke his back as well. 

“this is going to be the most spoiled cat in the history of cats,” mutters liam. harry opens an eye and attacks his hand. “ouch!”

harry follows when liam pulls away, nipping at any skin he can reach. liam carefully wraps his hand around harry’s head and holds him so he can’t bite. harry freezes and liam can almost see him thinking of a way to get out.

“don’t be cheeky,” he says, gently shaking the cat. harry growls and bats at his wrist with a paw. letting him down on the floor to wreak havoc, he slides down and puts his head on zayn’s shoulder. 

when there’s a yelp a few seconds later, they all whirl around to see harry shake out of his shock and attack loki’s nose. loki allows it for about two seconds and nudges the cat onto his stomach, making harry yelp again. 

they leave harry be, figuring he can fend for himself. 

 

harry likes coffee. like,  really likes coffee. whenever liam makes a cup, harry’s winding around his ankles and meowing, nipping at his hand, trying to stick his nose into the mug. 

“s’not normal,” louis comments one afternoon as he watches harry butt his head into liam’s leg. 

“i know, what cat drinks coffee?” 

louis laughs and shakes his head. “no, not that. honestly, boy, you’re missing the point! what animal enjoys coffee that much? c’mon lad, i’ll get you a proper yorkshire, yeah?” 

“so harry, the tiny kitten, is a lad and i’m not?” 

“oh, absolutely.” louis winks at him and somehow coerces harry to follow him into the kitchen. liam’s been betrayed by everyone. 

 

it’s not uncommon for liam to let himself into the apartment and find zayn curled protectively around harry, both fast asleep. it’s the sweetest thing liam’s ever seen, and he snaps a picture one day. 

zayn and harry both wake up to the shutter sound, and it’s the only thing that will rouse them that fast. well, that and food. harry stretches without opening his eyes and topples straight off the sofa. he gives an indignant squeak and then falls asleep once more. 

chuckling, zayn leaves him asleep on his shoe and sits up. 

“he’s absurd,” he comments to liam and liam just shrugs. harry’s weird, yeah, but it’s endearing. kind of. zayn picks him up and holds him to his chest, chuckling, and harry lets out a yawn, snuffling his nose into zayn’s neck. 

“why are you and harry so bloody cute?” liam grumbles, collapsing on the sofa next to them. “it’s not fair.” 

zayn laughs and cuddles the cat closer. harry peeks out to look at liam, and he can imagine harry’s grinning, if cats can smile. he can hear the purring from here. 

he ruffles harry’s fur and then zayn’s hair. they both sigh at the same time and he laughs. 

 

“what’re you doing nialler?” 

“we’re watching golf, payno,” niall says easily. liam pauses with his dirty plate in his hand. there’s only niall in the room.

“we?” 

niall lifts up his arm and harry struggles from his place in the air, letting out a meow. “we,” he confirms.

“um. alright?” 

“harry likes golf. and american football, but not regular football.” 

“and how do you know this?” 

niall takes a bite out of a crisp and then offers it to the cat. harry sniffs at it and then wraps his tail tighter around himself. 

“he comes and sits in front of the telly when golf’s on and leaves the room when derby’s playing.” 

“maybe he just doesn’t like derby,” liam suggests. niall flips him off and goes back to watching. 

 

he’s got the apartment to himself, finally, the boys all busy with their own lives for once. it’s just him and loki and harry and a small pizza. he sings to himself as he eats, dancing around the kitchen a little. there’s no one to see him, so who cares? not liam. 

loki’s asleep under the table. harry sits primly by his water bowl, tracking liam’s movements with his eyes. he stops to pet his ears for a moment and harry scrunches his eyes, pleased. when he takes his hand away, harry meows in protest. he shuts up when liam flicks him a bit of chicken off his pizza. harry’s easily pleased by food. 

 

he turns on a romantic comedy, one of the ones that all of them like to pretend they hate but secretly all love. he reckons louis bought this one; it’s got anne hathaway and louis fancies her. 

harry trots in and jumps up on the couch, big enough to reach now, and loki follows. loki curls up on one side and puts his head on liam’s knee. harry sits on his thigh and watches the entire movie, flicking his ear every once in awhile so liam knows he’s awake. 

“did you enjoy that?” liam hums when the credits roll, tapping the cat on the nose. he’s got his other hand buried in loki’s neck, stroking the fur there. “you watched the entire thing.”

harry gives him one of his looks. it’s obviously got some sort of meaning but liam’s never been able to figure out what exactly. 

“too bad you can’t speak human.” 

harry sneezes and it startles loki awake and off the sofa. liam giggles so hard he nearly falls off as well. harry rolls his eyes and butts his head into liam’s stomach. he stays there for a little while and eventually starts purring, tiny claws pricking liam’s skin. 

“you’re cute, but i’ve got to wee,” he tells the cat, scooping him up and kissing him gently on the nose. harry blinks at him. “too cute for your own good.” 

 

when he comes back, there’s a boy sitting in the middle of his lounge, playing with loki’s ears. 

“um,” liam says eloquently, staring at him. “excuse me?” 

the boy lifts his head and grins at liam, dimpling madly. liam feels a bit faint. 

“hiya!” he cries, tucking his rather unruly hair behind an ear. “m’harry.” 

“harry? my cat’s named harry.” he laughs at that is if it’s something hilarious, but liam doesn’t get the joke. “um, how did you get in here?” 

“you brought me home, remember?” 

liam pinches himself. he’s not dreaming. “i definitely would’ve remembered that, and i haven’t seen you before in my life.” 

harry the human laughs again. “erm, that’s because i’ve been a cat for a few months.” 

“you’re shitting me.” 

“s’true,” harry says with a shrug. 

“you were the little kitten that i brought home.” 

“yep.”

liam lets out a shaky breath. “you’re mental. i’m mental. this isn’t happening. it’s fucking impossible.” 

“you watched  ella enchanted  tonight and were surprised that i stayed awake. i like to sleep on your neck, or on zayn’s chest, or on niall’s knee, or in louis’ lap. the first night i wouldn’t drink any milk.” he levels a glare at liam. “by the way, cats are lactose intolerant. were you trying to kill me?” 

“n-n-no?”

“it’s a good thing i was a human.” 

he’s not sure what to say. 

“you’re naked,” comes out of his mouth. he can’t help it though, he’s in quite a lot of shock. harry glances down as if he hasn’t noticed and shrugs. 

“so i am. have you got any clothes i could borrow?” 

“in the bedroom,” he mumbles and harry starts to unfold himself from the sofa. liam flinches. “no, actually i’ll go get them--” 

harry’s laugh follows him into the bedroom. 

he sits on the side of the bed for a moment and puts his head in his hands. this isn’t happening. he doesn’t have a cat-turned-human in his lounge. he’s going mental. 

“were you really a cat?” he calls weakly and harry pauses. 

“yeah.” 

he grabs a pair of clean joggers and a t-shirt from his closet, moves back to where harry’s still sitting on the sofa. 

“are you a murderer?”

he looks like he’s trying to keep in a smirk and fails miserably. “no, liam. i promise.” 

“okay,” he says, because liam’s pretty sure that someone with dimples that big could be a murderer. it’ll be his head if he’s wrong. he throws harry the clothes and he tugs them on. “um, are you hungry?” 

“oh, can i have a pizza? i’ve not had a pizza in ages. it got all in my fur and made it truly awful.” 

liam gives him the half of his that’s still in the fridge, still a little lightheaded. he eats it on the floor and gets sauce in his hair. 

 

“oi oi, who’s this?” louis asks when he comes in, smelling faintly of flowery perfume and cigarette smoke. he’d been with eleanor, then. 

liam jolts up from his slouch, disturbing a napping harry. “what?” 

louis gives him a look. “who is the strange boy you’re cuddling with on our sofa, liam?” 

“hi,” harry says, waving. “i’m harry.” 

“really? we’ve got a cat named harry,” says louis and liam winces. harry grins. 

“so i’ve heard.” 

“no offence, but what are you doing here?” 

“manners, louis,” liam murmurs and he rolls his eyes. 

“honestly--” 

“i’m his friend,” says harry. “he was feeling lonely so he texted me to come ‘round.” 

“aw, payno, were you feeling left out?”

“no?” he says with a shrug. louis pats his head and turns to harry. 

“where are you from, then? c’mon tell us about yourself.” 

“m’twenty one, and i’m from cheshire.” 

“oh my god,” liam says with a groan that makes the other two look at him curiously. he covers his face with a hand for a moment. “you’re literally a cheshire cat.” 

harry lets out a cackle that upends him from the sofa and onto the floor. he laughs there for a few moments, before holding his arms out and demanding that liam help him up. 

“that was quite good, liam!” he says as settles back down on the settee. “i liked that joke.” 

“thank you?” 

“oh god,” louis says in horror, “have we found someone who actually appreciates liam’s jokes? i never thought i’d see the day.” 

“shut it,” liam mutters and throws a pillow at him, laughing when it hits him square in the face. harry laughs too, tucking his face into liam’s neck and interlacing their fingers. louis raises his eyebrows at the two and chuckles when liam glares. 

“you two are cute.” 

“we’re just friends!” he says weakly, but it’s undermined by harry giving little kisses to his jaw. it feels nice. louis looks too smug. 

“that’s right,” harry says when he finally detaches his lips from liam’s skin. “just friends.” 

“if you say so.”

 

the other boys take to harry as quickly as louis did and no one comments when he just… doesn’t leave. he sleeps in liam’s bed and so what if they kiss a little before they go to sleep? it’s all casual. 

but the next time zayn introduces harry as liam’s boyfriend, they don’t protest. harry just winds an arm around liam’s waist and smiles. 

“hey, what ever happened to harry the cat?” niall asks one day, looking like he’d genuinely forgotten. the other boys shrug and liam freezes, feeling harry the human’s laughter. 

“he ran away?” offers liam. 

“that’s sad,” says zayn. “can we get another?” 

“why would we need a cat when we’ve got harry?” 

“ you’ve got harry,” niall corrects. “the rest of us have loki and each other. let’s get another, yeah?” 

liam makes a noncommittal sound as harry lays down in his lap. nudging at liam’s hand, he practically purrs when liam starts running his fingers through his hair. 

“erm, payno,” louis says after a second, “i know he’s got the same name as our kitten, but you know that harry’s not actually a cat, right?” 

liam glances at him and then down at harry, who’s got laughter shining in his eyes. he gives a spontaneous kiss to his nose, laughing when harry tries to reciprocate and it lands on his cheekbone instead. louis makes a disgusted sound in his throat. 

“of course i do, tommo. that would be ridiculous.” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [ tumblr edit](http://deadattwentyone.tumblr.com/post/131495078214/im-sorry-im-thinking-about-cats-again-slight)


End file.
